Twilight Relationships Gone Wrong
by Xx-LoveEraser-xX
Summary: What happens when Esme cheats on Carlisle with Damon… Bella's sleeping with Jacob and Stephen at the same time … and certain unlikely rebounds! Please R
1. The Affairs

"Damon! You know I'm a married woman!" Esme scolded.

"I know, but that's what makes you so..._ hot_," he whispered gently in her ear, his hands caressing her shoulders. She let out a small groan and turned around towards him.

"Let's take this into the bedroom," she said. He grinned.

"After you, my-" he was interrupted by the sound of an engine. Then he was over to the window, lifting the curtain and peering out onto the streets below.

"Oh joy... Hubby's home," he said seeing their car pull up. He turned back to Esme to see her jump and begin fixing her clothing.

"Go!" she commanded. "It's already suspicious that you're over here! Goodness, why are they home so early?!" Damon laughed.

"You know... you should tell him," he said. She stopped instantly.

"What?!" she asked in disbelief.

"You should tell Carlisle what we've been doing." He stepped forward, pressing himself against her, "You could come away with me... we could have... fun," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her, but she pulled away.

"Damon no!" she said, and then silently left the room. Damon watched after her, sighed, and then followed.

"You know he'll find out sooner or later," he called after her.

"No he won't!" she said, regarding her reflection in the mirror and straightening her hair.

"Come on Esme. Don't make me-" he cut off. She turned to him, eyes wide.

"Don't make you what?!" she asked. Just then there was a knock at the door.

"Just go! We'll talk about it later," she said and with that, she tore her gaze away and went to the door. Damon turned and sped away, letting himself out at the back door.

"Hello!" she chimed seeing Edward, Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle at the door.

"Come in, come in!" she said, "How was your hunting trip?" Carlisle stared for a second, then answered.

"Alright..." Esme frowned. Was he suspicious? Had Damon been right? How long could they keep it a secret? She turned to Edward, being careful to shield her thoughts. "Just alright?" she asked.

"Yeah..." Edward frowned as well. Jasper and Emmett looked from Carlisle to Edward and Esme.

"Uh... did we miss something?" Emmett asked. They ignored him.

"Where are Alice and Rosalie?" Carlisle asked.

"They went out shopping for a while, you know girl's day out," she said.

"And you didn't go with them?" he asked.

"Uh, no, no, I wasn't feeling up to it," she lied.

"Oh well, maybe next time," he said, letting himself in and heading up stairs, Edward followed. Emmett and Jasper exchanged looks but went into the living room. Esme shut the door behind them.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Bella, Jacob and Stephen all lay side by side.

"Wow," was all Stephen said. Bella turned side ways and laid her head on his bare chest. Jacob wrapped an arm around Bella's middle.

"That was fun," Jacob said, "We should do that more often."

"I agree," Bella said. They all laughed together and laid like that for a while.

_**Meanwhile...**_

Edward followed Carlisle to him room and shut the door behind to two of them.

"Can you be serious?" he asked. "You know Esme would never cheat on you!"

"I know, I know, it's just..." he replied.

"It's just what?" Edward asked sitting beside him on the leather couch.

"It's just... she's be acting strange lately, you know? Like she's hiding something. And then today she was home alone and I picked up Damon's scent... in this house and I got suspicious," Edward laughed.

"Yes, so did I, but seriously? Esme and Damon? The chances of that happening are very low, besides, I couldn't read anything out of the ordinary from her." He patted Carlisle on the back, his hand lingering there a little too long. Carlisle frowned and sat up.

"I know the chances are low, but... I don't know... there's just this small voice in my head saying-" he cut off.

"Listen, Esme loves you, try talking to her about it and I'm sure you'll see you have nothing to worry about," he said. There was a pause.

"Yeah, that's the best thing to do, I'll talk to her later." Carlisle said and Edward nodded.

"Alright, well I'm going to see Bella now," he said. It was Carlisle's turn to nod.

"Have fun."

_**Back to Bella...**_

"Hey Bella?" Stephen whispered.

"Hmm?" she peered at him through sleepy eyes.

"We have to go now," Jacob said. She sat up.

"What?! Why?!" she asked. They grinned.

"You'll see," Stephen said and with that, lowered himself out the window. Bella stood up, and watched as they disappeared into the street below in opposite directions. Just then she heard Edward's silver Volvo approach her house. She darted over to her closet and threw on her fluffiest housecoat. Before she knew it, Edward knocked on the door.

"Bella? You there?" he asked. She rushed over and opened it a crack.

"Uh, yeah," she said. He smiled, "Well are you going to let me in?" he asked. "Two seconds, I'm in the process of getting dressed," she said.

"Oh... for what?" he asked, raising one eyebrow.

"What?" Bella asked, confused.

"Well it's 2 o'clock in the afternoon, usually your up by now," he said.

"Ohh... well, I'm just... really lazy today," she lied. Wow, awkward conversation, she thought.

"You know what Edward, I'm not feeling too good anyway, maybe you could come back another time?" she asked, watching him closely. Edward frowned.

"Uh... yeah, if that's what you want," he said and turned to leave. Bella closed the door and leaned against it. I'm a terrible liar, she thought. She went to her closet again, only to hear a second knock.

"Dad, not now," she said.

"It's Edward," Edward replied, "I'm back."

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I want to know why you want me to leave," he said, obviously not believing her cheesy story about being sick.

"I already told you," she replied.

"You're a terrible liar Bella," he said.

"What do you want me to say?" she demanded, getting a little annoyed.

"I want you to tell me the truth," he said. Damn it, what am I supposed to say?? She thought.

"Look, I really am sick, I think the turkey was a bit old last night-" What?! Smooth Bella, smooth.

"Fine," Edward said. She heard his footsteps leave.

_**Meanwhile...**_

"Esme?" Carlisle said as he entered the living room seeing her talking with Alice. She turned.

"Yes?" she asked.

"Can I talk to you for a minute," he said, it was more like an order than a question. She nodded and followed him into the kitchen. He stood there for a second, staring out the window.

"Well?" she asked, he looked from the window to her.

"Um... how will I put this?" he paused. "Have you began to have other... interests lately?"

"Other interests?" she asked, frowning. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"I mean... other interests... in maybe... men?" he said slowly.

"Men? Carlisle, wha-" she was cut off.

"Just answer the question," he snapped.

"I... No! Of course not!" she said, glaring at him.

"Oh really? Then what was Damon doing here earlier today?" he asked, glaring back.

"He… he just stopped by to tell me that they'd be going away for a couple days, in case we noticed their absence," she said sternly.

"Really... Where are they going and they've gone away before, why is this time so special?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"They're going out of town... he didn't say where and it was longer this time!" she said.

"Hmm?" was all he said.

"How dare you accuse me of cheating!" she said.

"Even though you are?" Damon said, standing in the doorway. Esme turned towards him, her mouth dropping open.

"Hello, Esme," he said, "May I say how beautiful you look when you're shocked." he smiled. Carlisle was staring at Damon, but he was emotionless.

"What are you talking about?" he said, "It's true?"

"Yes, I'm sorry to say it is… well scratch the sorry part," Damon said. Carlisle turned to Esme.

"Why?" he asked.

"I... I..." she replied. Then Carlisle's face changed. His eyes grew dark and his face filled with anger. He turned to Damon and hissed, showing his teeth.

"You're going to die," he whispered.

"Uh oh," was all Damon said. Carlisle leaped for him, but Damon moved out of the path.

"I'm faster than you old man," he said, smiling. Carlisle hissed again in response and smashed him into the kitchen wall.

"Guys! No! Stop!" Esme said, finding her voice again. The noise caught the attention of everyone else in the house. Alice, Jasper appeared in the doorway, followed by Emmett and Rosalie.

"What's going on in here?" Jasper and Emmett said together. There was no response. Instead, Damon pushed Carlisle back with a heavy shove, making him fly through to the other side of the large kitchen.

"Carlisle!" Alice, Rosalie and Esme chanted. Then everything moved real quickly. Jasper and Emmett rushed to hold back Damon. Alice and Rosalie did the same with Carlisle. Both vampires snarled and hissed at each other from across the open kitchen. Esme stood in the middle of the two. "Stop it! Both of you!" she said softly.

"What the hell is going on?" Edward came running into the kitchen, looking around at the scene before him. They all turned to look at him.

"I'm gone for twenty minutes and this is what happens," he demanded. No one said anything for a long pause. Carlisle shoved off Alice and Rosalie and headed out the front door, muttering something under his breath. In response Damon did the same and for the second time that day, he flew out the back door, Esme with him.

Edward, Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and Emmett were all left in the kitchen staring at each other in disbelief.

"Does anyone know what happened here?" Edward asked. The rest replied with a shrug.

"Brilliant," Edward replied sarcastically and headed up to his room.

Meanwhile…

"Why did you do that?" Esme shouted.

"Did what? Told the truth?" Damon asked, "Well because I hate lying to people Esme!" SMACK! Esme responded to Damon with a long, hard slap. Damon turned his head back.

"Hmm...Well I always did like it rough," he said, "Please! Punish me more!" This time Esme giggled.

_**Two hours later...**_

Edward looked up as Carlisle walked through the doorway to his room. He immediately stood up.

"Carlisle, What's going on?" he was beginning to get tired of asking that question.

"Esme's cheating!" Carlisle erupted. Edward looked at him in disbelief.

"What?!" Edward said.

"You heard me," Carlisle replied, sitting down and placing his head in his hands.

"It's Damon..." he continued, "They've been sneaking around... when we've been going on hunting trips I guess," he blurted, then went silent. Edward stared for a while, unsure of what to say.

"Carlisle, I'm sorry," was all he could think of.

"After all these years..." Carlisle faded off.

"I know," Edward said, then turned to look out the window.

"I think Bella's been sleeping around with Jacob," Edward said. Carlisle jolted up but said nothing.

"No scratch that, I know she is, but she's denying it! She doesn't even have the guts to say it to my face," he sneered, placing his fist on the glass window, and then added, "Damn werewolf." Carlisle stood, slowly stepping towards him.

"I'm sorry," he said, placing his hand on the center of Edward's back.

"I guess we're in the same boat," Edward turned to face him. "We still have each other though," Carlisle whispered.

"Yes," Edward said, "You and me." It was later in the day and the sun was going down, making the room quickly turn dark. Edward's face was half in shadow. Carlisle stared, admiring it.

"What?" Edward said after a while.

"Hmm?" Carlisle replied.

"I don't know, you're staring," he accused.

"Yes I am. But guess what?" Carlisle said grinning.

"What?" Edward asked.

"You're staring back," Carlisle finished.

"True..." Edward said, noticing his face was getting closer and closer to Carlisle by the second. Finally their lips met and he knew it was right. Carlisle turned out to be a better kisser than he had expected.

_**The next day...**_

Carlisle and Edward woke up in each other's arms.

"Morning, sweet cheeks," Carlisle said, grinning.

"Morning," Edward sweetly replied, smiling.

"Did you enjoy last night as much as I did?" Carlisle asked.

"Well I don't know, how much did you enjoy it?" Edward asked.

"Very much indeed," Carlisle giggled.

"Then yes I did," Edward giggled back. With that Carlisle's face turned serious.

"Edward?" he asked.

"Uh huh?" Edward snuggled in closer.

"Will you marry me?" he asked. Edward's mouth dropped open.

"Carlisle... I... Really?" was all Edward could say.

"Yes, really. Be my... Husband!" Carlisle ordered. Edward laughed.

"Of course I'll be your husband!" he exclaimed happily.

"Hmm... I think this means we should have a family meeting... you know just to clear everything up and get things out in the open," Carlisle said.

"I couldn't agree more," Edward replied.

_**Later...**_

By mid-afternoon Carlisle, Edward, Bella, Jacob, Stephen, Damon, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Elena all stood the Cullen's living room.

"So? Why are we here?" Elena asked.

"I think it would be best if we all talked and got things out in the open." Esme and Bella squirmed a little.

"Now! I'm pleased to say that Edward and I have decided to get married!" Carlisle cheered and threw his hand in Edward's. Everyone gasped with surprise. Elena grinned. Bella's eyes went big.

"Edward? Is this true? How could you!" she yelled.

"How could you secretly cheat on me?" he growled. She shut up.

"Why should you care when you have us Bella?" Jacob said and wrapped his arm around her. Bella only stared at the ground.

"Right Stephen?" Jacob said. Stephen glanced over at Elena, who was now realizing where he had really been going every other night. She was fuming as stomped out of the room. Stephen rolled his eyes and turned back to Bella

"Right," he responded.

"Yeah! Well, Damon and I are getting married too!" Esme blurted out.

"What?! We are doing nothing of the sort!" Damon yelled in protest. Esme just glared at him and cross her arms against her chest.

"Okay... so if everyone's up to date... we have a wedding to plan! Come on Edward!" he said. Everyone left the room but Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett.

"Wow, we're lucky we don't have any of that going on... right honey?" Rosalie said.

"Well I know we don't," Alice chirped happily. Jasper and Emmett both exchanged looks.

"Uhh... yeah... of course not..." Emmett stammered while Jasper just nodded.


	2. Carlisle and Edward's Wedding

_**Chapter 2**_

"Hey Edward!" Carlisle said, pulling back the shower curtain, making Edward jump.

"Carlisle? What's with you?" Edward replied, pulling the curtain back into it's normal position.

"I'm just so excited our wedding day is tomorrow!" Carlisle cheered and gave him a large hug, jumping up and down, getting himself wet. Edward patted him on the back, trying to calm him before the news finally sunk in.

"What?!" Edward yelled, pushing Carlisle back.

"Tomorrow? What?... Why?... How?" Edward stammered.

"I booked it when you went out hunting earlier! We're going to Vegas baby!" Carlisle was jumping again, he grabbed Edward by the hand and dragged his nakedness over to the computer in the next room, pointing to the screen.

"Vegas..." Edward's voice drifted off.

"Why Vegas? And what about the rest of the family?" he asked. Carlisle gave him a look.

"Why would you want to wait? It would take too long to get married here! Plus, I don't think the others would want to come... They have there own... problems," he concluded.

"Oh, uh, right," Edward replied, feeling uncomfortable under Carlisle's intense stare, which instantly broke upon hearing his response. Carlisle cheered and began bouncing on the bed (that they had used for you know what earlier) but tangled himself in the blankets and fell to the floor.

"Help!" he said, laughing hysterically. Edward rolled his eyes.

"Carlisle, you know I love you but you've seriously gotta snap out of it," Edward said, leaving the room and going back to his shower.

"Edward nooo! Don't leave me like this!" Carlisle yelled behind him. Edward grinned.

"Nah, I think you should get yourself out of this one," Edward chirped before locking the door behind him, but not before hearing the sound of blankets ripping.

_**On The Plane...**_

"Ahhh," Edward sighed. Carlisle had finally quieted and was staring out the window. 'Peace and Quiet' he thought. Carlisle seemed a little too happy to be getting married.

"Hey, do you need anything Sir?" It was that blond flight attendant again. He hadn't even pressed the button.

"No, that's alright," he said.

"Are you sure? There's nothing I can _do_ for you?" she asked, blinking her eyelashes.

"No, absolutely nothing!" he said assertively.

"Hmm... alright then," she said, sulking away.

'Oh God, Oh God!' he thought as he read her thoughts. 'Nasty!'

"Hey Edward?" Carlisle asked, suddenly turning his head towards him.

"Yes?" Edward asked.

"Do you think I would look good in one of those 70's blue suits?" he asked. Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe... but I was thinking we could wear flamingo costumes instead," he said slowly, looking hopeful.

"A what?!" Carlisle gave him a look.

"Well, last night I had this horny dream about us getting married in flamingo costumes," he said. Carlisle raised an eyebrow this time.

"Absolutely not!" he said.

"But it was a good dream!" Edward protested.

"I don't care! We are NOT getting married in flamingo costumes!" Carlisle concluded.

_**The Next Day...**_

"I hope you know I'm not happy about this!" Carlisle said, plucking a wed-gee out of his fluffy pink costume. Edward grinned.

"Pink is definitely you colour," he said.

"Yeah, whatever," Carlisle grumbled. Edward admired his reflection in the mirror.

'Damn. No wonder that flight attendant kept checking me out!' he thought to himself, grinning.

"I'm serious! You are totally turning me on in it!" Edward said. Carlisle blushed, suddenly looking self-conscious.

"You're just playing with me!" he giggled.

"No, I'm serious! I think it's all the feathers and pinkness... it's _hot_," Carlisle smiled prodely and struck a pose. Edward laughed and checked his watch.

"Now hurry up," he said, "We're getting married in 15 minutes!"

"Almost ready!" Carlisle called, as Edward left the room to make the final arrangements.

_**15 Minutes Later...**_

A sleepy reverend held a bible in his hands. Carlisle couldn't help giggling as he looked at the chubby man dressed in the matching costume. He whispered to Edward.

"How did you persuade him to wear one too?"

"It's Vegas!" Edward whispered back. The reverend glared at the two of them.

"No talking!" he said. Carlisle grinned.

"Yeah! No talking Edward!" Edward just glared back at him.

"Now!" the reverend continued.

"Do you, Carlisle Cullen take Edward Cullen to be your... husband?" he asked.

"Yes I do!" Carlisle cheered, squeezing Edward's hand.

"And do you..." he stopped and frowned.

"Wait... are you two _brothers_?" he asked. Carlisle and Edward exchanged looks.

"No!" they shouted together.

"Just checking!" the reverend replied and continued the ceremony.

"Do you, Edward Cullen take Carlisle Cullen to be your... husband?" he asked.

"I do!" Edward answered.

"Hmm... and now without farther a-do... you may now kiss the bride... oh... erm... you know what I mean!" the reverend concluded.

_**The Wedding Night...**_

I'm afraid that if I write their wedding night I'll have to change the rating...

_**Back at Home...**_

Alice answered the door before they could even knock.

"Hey! Welcome back!" she said, being her usual cheery self.

"Hello Alice," Carlisle greeted her.

"Lemme see the ring!" she said right away.

Edward lifted his hand so Alice could see the large rock on his finger.

"Wow, that's really large," she said, grinning.

Edward and Carlisle just smiled at each other.


End file.
